When I think about losing my dad all those years ago - what I remember are my friends.
I left the hospital and went straight to my friend Sam's house. I walked in, started crying, and just remember her holding me. She cried with me and told me that she didn't know what to say. What she didn't know is that I didn't need her to say anything. In that moment, all I wanted and needed was a hug from my friend. And she gave that to me.
When I got home, I was greeted by my extended family and an overwhelming amount of friends who had all heard the news and rushed to be by my and my sisters' sides. They gave me what I needed and they stayed for hours. They were wonderful and they helped me get through an extremely difficult time in my life.
Thankfully not many of my friends knew what it felt like to lose a parent. But they knew what to do anyway. They knew my heart was broken and they all knew how to be there.
A year after he passed I received a card in the mail from Sheena. She wrote a sweet note and ended by saying: "I am still sad when I think about losing 'my' dad". She wrote 'my' and it made me cry. Sheena was family and my dad always thought of her as a fourth daughter.
Five years after he passed away, my friend Kelly surprised us all by submitting a memorial in the city newspaper. She signed it from Celina, Jacquie, Melanie and all your other 'daughters'. It was sweet and thoughtful and helped me feel not so alone.
And to this day, on the anniversary of my dad's death, I still receive countless text messages and emails from friends and family. Some say they are thinking of me. Others tell me they love me. And some will simply send me a heart symbol.
My friends were there for me. And they still are. I felt loved during a time when my world was falling apart and I am still so thankful for them.
Today I am writing this blog because I am sad. I am sad because, in the last two weeks, my friends Sheena and Trevor (Becky) have both lost their dads. And I know their hearts are breaking.
I no longer live in the same city as my friends and I'm at a loss as to what I can do for them. I want to be there. I want to walk over to their houses and stay for hours. I want to give them the hugs I know they desperately need. I want to cry with them. I want to listen, to help and to share in their pain. Because losing a parent (or anyone for that matter) means losing a piece of your heart. I want to be there to help them grieve and then to heal. And I want to give them what they gave me all those years ago - a friend.
To my friends - I wish I could catch your tears in the palm of my hand and mingle them with my own. You are not alone. My heart is broken too and I understand your pain. I am so sorry.
xoxo
Melanie
